Hello all my amazing followers and readers!
My anxiety has been running at an all time high and I’m either very drained or hyperactive, so sorry I haven’t been posting much. I want to get back into posting more, but have been so busy with work and everyday life it unfortunately leaves little time for writing. It takes every bit of down time I am getting to relax and to push forward to continue showing up to work and take care of myself. My anxiety also causes my thoughts and mind to race in a speed I can’t seem to catch up with or control that it makes it really hard to hold onto a thought, never mind write. So for now we are stuck with this mini update post. Haha.
Besides my usual anxiety and other struggles I am actually doing alright. As mentioned I am going to work every night and working anywhere between 8 1/2 hour to 10 hour shifts. My anxiety and mental health is complaining, but my bank account is not. xD I actually can’t remember the last time I got out of work on time and with the holidays approaching it doesn’t look like it will calm down anytime soon. I figured if I work hard while the hours are there and save a bit I can worry about taking it easy later on as hours always flux-orate in retail and you gotta make money when it’s there. Regardless of having few minor break downs and struggling through some anxiety, it actually feels really good to be productive at work and in my everyday life. Like even through some of my mental health struggles, I’m happy. I have come so far in my life and have changed a lot that it is still paying off and I have broke myself out of another depression cycle.
I have not just managed to uphold full time hours, my other duties at home I am also making drastic changes in my life. Ones I should have made a lot sooner, but it’s never too late. I have started to exercise more and be more energetic outside of just my physical job, I am making drastic changes in my diet and working on smoking a lot less in hopes to maybe even quit if I can stop being weak. lol. I think my diet has probably been the most extreme change as I am going to go completely vegan. I say going to be because with that strict of a diet change it doesn’t happen over night. It takes a lot of research and dedication. I want to be completely ready before I make such a drastic change. I have started to slowly cut out meat (red meat entirely) and absolutely no more junk. I am not worried about cutting out meat as I basically only ate it because it was served to me growing up, but I wouldn’t say I really ever crave it or miss it when I am not eating it. In fact my biggest challenge will probably be to give up dairy products as I love cheese, milk, eggs…chocolate is even dairy ffs. LOL. However, I really want to do this. I have been wanting to go vegan for a few years now, but was always too weak to do that strict of a diet change and my husband would always laugh when I shared this belief. That was until we did some serious research and watching a bunch of documentaries to discover many people are thriving off a vegan diet, some even more so than those who are not including some of the top athletes in the world. However, I would argue no matter what diet you choose even the most balanced diet, anything can be dangerous if you are not careful enough about where you are choosing to get your food from and what you are putting into your body (including veggies, meats etc from your supermarket) I find people get so hung up on what is the healthiest diet that we are actually not questioning anything else. Most people don’t know or care to know what process your food took to get from where it came from to your plate. There is a huge difference between going out and hunting your food or growing your own garden then ignorantly just picking up food from your closest supermarket because it is convenient. ‘Blah blah, our ancestors ate meat so we’re meant to eat it you pussy ass vegans and vegetarians’ although there is now research and evidence to even prove that theory wrong let’s just consider this statement for a moment. That even if that was the case, our ancestors went out and hunted or gathered their own food. So unless you are some expert hunter I don’t have time for your senseless dribble tbh. (sorry I am going off topic, I am sure with me going vegan you will see many more posts relating to such things later on lol) I am not just going vegan for the health benefits I am also doing it for the welfare of animals because I love them more than humans tbh. I have seen far too many documentaries and videos on meat farms and animal cruelty that I cannot go one more minute ignoring or pretending it doesn’t make me sick to my stomach just so I can shovel food down my throat. Truth is with the advances of food and all the research available now on foods or diets, there is no reason you can’t be a health vegan. Again is it really anymore unhealthy than most of the diets out there? It’s easy to go vegan, it’s hard to be a healthy vegan but I know I can do it. I will of course make sure to regularly see my doctor and maybe even get a dietitian or whatever because I am not ignorant enough to believe you can live off of veggies, fruits and carbs alone. You have to be really careful of how to get all the nutrients we need to be healthy and having an advisory will help especially since I have ignored my health for long enough. If I am doing this for health benefits it would be stupid to go into it blindly. If I am going vegan for more than just the health benefits, environment benefits, but also for animal rights than I need to still do some serious research on what foods and drinks are vegan or not because you’d be surprised the shit I have found and never thought it had any animal by products in it. So yes I am going completely vegan, but just need to do a bit more research and search up tons more of recipes before I completely throw everything out in our cupboards or fridge and do a complete food overhaul. I am actually excited for this change. As for those who (not you guys…I mean population in general) who think I may be doing it to be trendy or jump on the vegan band wagon I don’t see this change as trendy. It makes me fucking sick that people think animal cruetly is just something to be taken lightly, that it is seen as weak or trendy to want to choose a better diet. It is literally just ignoring the fact we shovel down hormones and other crap and abuse animals in any means necessary so you can enjoy a nice cheeseburger. Like I’m weak because that stuff sickens me??? Okay what if it was humans we were talking about? Is it trendy not to be cannibalistic tbh? lol. It is almost like they are defending their ignorancy because they know deep down it’s wrong and we are some of the few species on this earth that actually don’t have to consume living beings to survive, especially with our advances. I am sorry unless you go out and hunt your own meat I will equally call you a pussy. 😉 Anywhooo…those kinda arguments are better off for another time, just thought I’d share as I think this will be a drastic change in my life, but a good one. If anyone who is reading this is vegan, or you are not and know great vegan recipes I should try feel free to share them in the comment section. Right now I could use any resource possible.
So yeah…I think making positive changes like these ones I mentioned will really benefit not just my physical health that I have been so damn worried about, but my mental health as well.
My husband has also had a rough month or so as he went from a huge tooth infection to blowing out his right shoulder and now has tendinitis and some other crap going on. There is obvious stress that comes with that and I am really worried about it. I am however not really in a state to talk much about it, but he is slowly on the mend. I will keep you guys posted on his health as well.
Well that is about all that is new with me. I have made a couple more Sims 4 videos on youtube since I last posted and I am really enjoying doing these kind of videos in my spare time, even if no one watches them. Haha. For real though I have no where else to currently share them right now as I am still on my social media hibernation (as in besides email, youtube and blogging I have no connection to social media and I am not ready to get back into it or know if I ever will be as I am so much happier without it) so I would like to share them here (although will be reopening my gamer blog I think here on wordpress) I would appreciate the views, but no pressure! Only if you are interested tbh, lol Been trying to put more work into this so it is another reason for my hiatus from here.
My youtube gamer channel:
My first Sims 4 Create A Sim video with a mini background story
I posted this speed build to youtube yesterday 😃