Save Me…

I thought with yesterday’s very unfortunate and scary events(As I am sure more and more people are becoming aware) if not, I am sharing this song as my dedication to Mental Illness this week. If I can’t sit down and seem to write my thoughts about mental illness or it’s stigma etc as I am still feeling really off. I will still kind of try to share my story maybe with quotes, music etc. The least I will do this week on my blog is share some quotes or music that has helped me in my darkest hours in life and other ways to dedicate this blog to mental health this week.

Here is one of my favorite songs I grew up listening to and still listen to when I am going through depressing cycles.

Had a bad day, don’t talk to me,
Gonna ride this out,
My little black heart, breaks apart,
With your big mouth.
And I’m sick of my sickness
Don’t touch me, you’ll get this.
I’m useless, lazy, perverted,
And you hate me.
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wakeup call,
And everything, everything’s my fault.
Went to the doctor, and I asked her,
To make this stop. (whoa)
Got medication, a new addiction,
Fucking thanks a lot.
I had to relapse, I’m bad at rehabs
It ruins everything. (whoa)
So point your finger, at the singer,
He’s in the pharmacy.
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wake up call,
And everything’s my fault.
You can’t save me,
You can’t blame me,
Well I’m waiting here to take a fall,
And everything, and everything’s my fault.
And I’m a death threat haven’t slept yet,
Baby why the wake up call
I’m the bad boy tell the tabloids
Everything’s my fault.
Whoa whoa whoa yeah, write it write it,
Whoa Whoa whoa everything’s my fault,
Everything’s my fault.
I went to heaven, but couldn’t get in,
For what I have done.
I said please take me, they said you’re crazy
You had too much fun.
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Well I’m waiting for my wake up call,
And everything’s my fault.
You can’t save me,
You can’t blame me,
Well I’m waiting here to take a fall,
And everything, everything’s my fault.
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me, (everything’s my fault)
You can’t save me,
You can’t change me,
Everything’s my fault.

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Author:

I am a 30-year-old female living life on the autism spectrum and still trying to find my place in the world. I have other associated disorders or mental illnesses such as OCD, anxiety (generalized and social) and a history of depression to name a few. I love writing and have been writing different styles for as long as I can remember. Like most people who have a strong passion for writing I started writing stories and wrote in a journal in grade school. I remember specifically purchasing my first diary/journal that had a lock with my cousin when I was around 10 year-of-age. I was very excited to start writing in it as it was the first fanciest and most formal writing tool I owned. I think that was when my writing journey really began as I started to write daily. Some of my main goals for this blog is to write about autism, it's associated disorders and my life in hopes to help others. To spread awareness and educate in hopes to end some of the stigmas society has attached to things mental illness and autism. To meet like minded bloggers or be inspired by other writers. Other than that I will post or share anything that is of interest or pops into my head. As I grow older, the more I understand about myself and experience life I find myself wanting to seek a further diagnoses or a reevaluation. That is part of the reason why I am opening a new blog here and the reason for my new found blog name. So I hope you all will join me on my continued journey and new discoveries. My diagnoses are not all who I am so here are some random facts about myself. Some of my hobbies besides writing include music, The Sims 3, Xbox, Netflix, scrapbooking and the outdoors. I have a very strong passion for music. It is like my drug/medicine/obsession and you may catch me from time to time preaching it like a religion. Apologies in advance I am married to a man who is not on the spectrum, but he is as equally as amazing and I am insanely in love with him. Like my rants about my life and music you will also hear a lot about him. I was born and raised in Canada who recently seeked Permanent Residence in the USA, so I am no longer an illegal alien. Although I am still an 'alien' tbh. I say imo and tbh too much. (imo = in my opinion/tbh = to be honest) They are also probably the only two abbreviations you will catch me using as one of my many pet peeves are people who 'typ like dis' The only thing that probably makes me a stereotypical Canadian is my obsession with hockey. I am a very organized person. However, it is normally with things that don't really matter in life such as my files on my computer that are organized in folders, within folders... I often can be perceived as rude at first until you get to know me. I have a huge imagination. Some of my favorite animals are dogs, cats, monkeys, penguins and elephants. I prefer animals to humans tbh. Basically I am another complexed human being like everyone else trying to find her way through life and I welcome you all to my newly found blog. This description is subject to change at anytime as my blog grows, I add more facts about myself or for whatever reason I feel fit. ~ My Authentic Mind

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