How are all my lovely readers and followers?!
I am doing okay, I think I am kinda back to a state of feeling all over the place and off. Not a depressing or any really negative feelings to be concerned about, just feeling like I really need a break from life. Even though nothing really goes on in my life as of late, but for me it is the little things that can really throw me off. It’s hard to explain. It is not really anything new or I can’t tackle, I just felt I needed to share because I feel it is part of the reason why I haven’t been able to write much lately. Even the few posts I have shared lately I am sure you have noticed are either dealing with simple Q&A’s or the posts I have written from scratch are really brief or very little explanation and very much to the point. Unlike my normal posts before which are normally ranty, very well explained and much longer. It took me sometime to even realize my recent posts are not as lengthy or well thought out as I would like them to be. However, now that I have hit what it seems to be like some kind of writer’s block, but for different reasons other than running out of ideas what to write about. (Because believe me I have many posts planned and ideas for new posts, just can’t seem to finish them or start anew.)
I am hoping to shake this feeling again and get my thoughts back soon because I really want to get back to sharing more and writing. I also have some great news and more of a reason why I need my brain back to working at somewhat of a normal state. I got a job guys! Woot!!! I am waiting on the call back which is pending on my background check (which was done last Tuesday during my two interview process so I should hear back any day now. :)) for orientation, then I will have a day of online training and should receive my schedule during my training day. The job is in one of a big franchise grocery stores and the position is for inventory coordinator. I know I will have to struggle with my anxiety during this job as it is dealing with the public more often than I would like and the shifts are kinda wonky which will take some time getting use too, but it’s a job. However, my last job was two years in a grocery store back in Canada that probably had a lot more pressure on me than this job will at least at first (because if I want more hours or responsibilities etc that takes time at a new job) and I was up to 35 hours a week at my last job. Where as here, I will be working probably closer to 25 hours a week. They guaranteed me at least 24 hours a week to start, but won’t know until I get my schedule. So at least after being out of work for a few months or so I will have time to readjust to working again. I will also be making more than minimum wage to start (I don’t discuss as personal as actual hourly wages etc) and that is just to start. I worked my butt off at my last job and when I left I was still making minimum wage, no raise. Also it was an independent store with an owner who tried to cheat labor laws until employees would fight it. Nope do not miss that place at all! Unlike this store that is apart of a franchise and has to follow certain laws. So raises are probably possible and it is possible to be awarded for hard work etc. Which I find is a lot more inspiring that even when your manager etc is asking more of you or whatever it may be, you also have more of say because they do have to take care of you if you are up for the job and possible chances of moving up. The lady who did my second interview shared she started in the bakery as part time and now she manages several departments there. Their president of the store started off as bagging groceries and pushing carts. Even though I am just starting part time and I don’t see a grocery store job being a career choice it is nice to know there are those options and it starts by getting your foot in the door. Right now, my husband and I are just really starting to get in a better place financially after finally getting us both legal in the same country, it is good to have such options and at least have a job I think because I may not have such luxuries of returning to school if I want to as soon as I would like. Either way, I am getting head of myself haha…It is a job for now and I can always keep looking else where if I want and it does open options in many ways. The only down side about this job are the weird shifts (4:00 am to 12:30 pm) which means I will have to get up at like 2 am which is going to take some time to adjusting too. I am going to have to completely retrain my sleeping pattern and still somehow make time to spend time with my husband who works day shifts etc. Oh well, I do not have the luxury to turn down jobs right now based on shifts or anything really. I was glad it was not completely over night and it will be nice to have the afternoon to myself. I am hoping the familiarity and recent job experience (as I did work with inventory a bit etc and experience in general from my last job) will help my anxiety a bit, so there is that.
That is all that is really new I just wanted to share the good news and why I have been kinda MIA or short coming with my writing and why I may not post a lot this week or for however long this mood or whatever my body is going through lasts for. Like I shared before it is nothing to be worried about, it is normal notions for me that I kinda just have to go through. The weird thing is I am less stressed because of the job thing and I am not feeling down. It is not really a bad feeling or anything I just can’t seem to regain control over my thoughts or body. I think it is something deeper than I realize or can grasp right now. I am not sure. Either way, I always eventually come out of such stages. I am sorry if this post seems scrambled and my rant about my new job etc may not make a lot of sense or was very well organized, but like I said my brain is not working to my best capacity and another post I wrote in WordPress with no organization prior and just hitting publish without editing.
However, over the next few days or weeks I will probably stop in to share music maybe with some back story at times and/or quotes. I will try to find ways to remain somewhat active and of course will keep you all posted.
Like right now…I am going to share a song I absolutely adore. For a person who LOVES Alanis Morissette (she is one of my favorite artists without a doubt) and for a person like myself who always tries to keep up with music etc it’s weird how late I discovered this song. I just found it like last year and I almost forgot about it again, so I thought I’d share it.
Of course it reminds me of my husband and when people on the spectrum ask me how I manage a successful relationship, marriage etc (which happens quite often) not just because of my autism, but it’s associated disorders that go along with it and then add on my mental illness, my best advice is to meet someone and take time to get to know each other. Build complete trust in one another and let them see every side of you, even the darkest sides a lot of us try to hide from society, because before you consider things like marriage or getting that kind of serious you have to consider them having to be around you a lot of times. And for people like me, that can be hard to have to deal with a human on the daily. It is challenging at times like any relationship is, but I made sure my hubby can handle all of me and all of my moods. It is a fail safe when your partner doesn’t try to upset you, but does accidentally he/she is prepared for you to freak out. Haha Jk, but that is one example but things you both have to work on as a couple of course. That is just a quick opinion and/or rant.
Speaking of relationships two things I am going to try and re-share is I am going to edit my Valentine’s Day thoughts and my post I shared about how I have led a successful relationship as an aspie (I forget the title of the post tbh) and post here probably within the next week or so.