It started yesterday mid day ish. Out of no where I started feeling extremely anxious and off. I couldn’t process my thoughts, nothing sounded fun and nothing could relax me. I tried everything tv show, movie, music and even tried a hot shower. My mood only got worse as the day went on and when the hubby got off work I was a disaster. Just a ball of anxiety and stress. Today is going about the same. I just wish I could snap out of it.
The thing is I have no idea what really caused it or why I feel this wrecked at times. Though it happens often than I’d like, it never gets easier to live with or deal with. I knew I was stressed from the job interview and there is a lot of stuff going on in my life right now that can be causing it. It is most likely that, but I just feel mentally exhausted. I get enough sleep and I am not physically exhausted, just mentally drained. Like I have no motivation to do anything because of it and cannot deal with even the little things. Everything feels overwhelming. I just hope this passes and it doesn’t turn into like an autistic shut down, depressing cycle again or anything because it can happen. Unfortunately. There is a bright side though that these feelings can also come and go.
So before I get anymore anxious and go off the deep end I took today to do nothing. I worked out, did the basic chores this morning but that was it. The rest of my day is dedicated to writing, gaming or netflix maybe, music and tea. I am going to try my best to kick this feeling and be cautious before it gets any worse. I mean literally relax, no job hunting, no shopping nada. I am worried right now even if I do the little thing or push it too much it will be too overwhelming and set me off track even worse. I wish I had more coping mechanisms though to help me with my anxiety, especially when it hits without knowing. I have over all learn to live and deal with my anxiety, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help myself. So here is to hoping if I take it easy today and take much needed down time I will feel better soon.
I know this isn’t much of a post, just wanted to share how I am feeling even though I don’t really know how I am feeling or how to process it. Which is why tried to explain it in very basic terms and a brief post.
I hope everyone is having a lovely week. 😃
I am off to force myself to eat and watch some Heartland.