Just not feeling life right now…

It started yesterday mid day ish. Out of no where I started feeling extremely anxious and off. I couldn’t process my thoughts, nothing sounded fun and nothing could relax me. I tried everything tv show, movie, music and even tried a hot shower. My mood only got worse as the day went on and when the hubby got off work I was a disaster. Just a ball of anxiety and stress. Today is going about the same. I just wish I could snap out of it.

The thing is I have no idea what really caused it or why I feel this wrecked at times. Though it happens often than I’d like, it never gets easier to live with or deal with. I knew I was stressed from the job interview and there is a lot of stuff going on in my life right now that can be causing it. It is most likely that, but I just feel mentally exhausted. I get enough sleep and I am not physically exhausted, just mentally drained. Like I have no motivation to do anything because of it and cannot deal with even the little things. Everything feels overwhelming. I just hope this passes and it doesn’t turn into like an autistic shut down, depressing cycle again or anything because it can happen. Unfortunately. There is a bright side though that these feelings can also come and go.

So before I get anymore anxious and go off the deep end I took today to do nothing. I worked out, did the basic chores this morning but that was it. The rest of my day is dedicated to writing, gaming or netflix maybe, music and tea. I am going to try my best to kick this feeling and be cautious before it gets any worse. I mean literally relax, no job hunting, no shopping nada. I am worried right now even if I do the little thing or push it too much it will be too overwhelming and set me off track even worse. I wish I had more coping mechanisms though to help me with my anxiety, especially when it hits without knowing. I have over all learn to live and deal with my anxiety, but sometimes I feel like I can’t help myself. So here is to hoping if I take it easy today and take much needed down time I will feel better soon.

I know this isn’t much of a post, just wanted to share how I am feeling even though I don’t really know how I am feeling or how to process it. Which is why tried to explain it in very basic terms and a brief post.

I hope everyone is having a lovely week. πŸ˜ƒ

I am off to force myself to eat and watch some Heartland.



I am a 30-year-old female living life on the autism spectrum and still trying to find my place in the world. I have other associated disorders or mental illnesses such as OCD, anxiety (generalized and social) and a history of depression to name a few. I love writing and have been writing different styles for as long as I can remember. Like most people who have a strong passion for writing I started writing stories and wrote in a journal in grade school. I remember specifically purchasing my first diary/journal that had a lock with my cousin when I was around 10 year-of-age. I was very excited to start writing in it as it was the first fanciest and most formal writing tool I owned. I think that was when my writing journey really began as I started to write daily. Some of my main goals for this blog is to write about autism, it's associated disorders and my life in hopes to help others. To spread awareness and educate in hopes to end some of the stigmas society has attached to things mental illness and autism. To meet like minded bloggers or be inspired by other writers. Other than that I will post or share anything that is of interest or pops into my head. As I grow older, the more I understand about myself and experience life I find myself wanting to seek a further diagnoses or a reevaluation. That is part of the reason why I am opening a new blog here and the reason for my new found blog name. So I hope you all will join me on my continued journey and new discoveries. My diagnoses are not all who I am so here are some random facts about myself. Some of my hobbies besides writing include music, The Sims 3, Xbox, Netflix, scrapbooking and the outdoors. I have a very strong passion for music. It is like my drug/medicine/obsession and you may catch me from time to time preaching it like a religion. Apologies in advance I am married to a man who is not on the spectrum, but he is as equally as amazing and I am insanely in love with him. Like my rants about my life and music you will also hear a lot about him. I was born and raised in Canada who recently seeked Permanent Residence in the USA, so I am no longer an illegal alien. Although I am still an 'alien' tbh. I say imo and tbh too much. (imo = in my opinion/tbh = to be honest) They are also probably the only two abbreviations you will catch me using as one of my many pet peeves are people who 'typ like dis' The only thing that probably makes me a stereotypical Canadian is my obsession with hockey. I am a very organized person. However, it is normally with things that don't really matter in life such as my files on my computer that are organized in folders, within folders... I often can be perceived as rude at first until you get to know me. I have a huge imagination. Some of my favorite animals are dogs, cats, monkeys, penguins and elephants. I prefer animals to humans tbh. Basically I am another complexed human being like everyone else trying to find her way through life and I welcome you all to my newly found blog. This description is subject to change at anytime as my blog grows, I add more facts about myself or for whatever reason I feel fit. ~ My Authentic Mind

11 thoughts on “Just not feeling life right now…

  1. Hang in there. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. Jobhunting, interviews, and the day-to-day stress of life in general is overwhelming sometimes. We’ve all been there, I promise you that. Take a breath, and relax, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the support and comment. I am feeling much better now I think I just needed to take a day for myself. Luckily it was nothing more. πŸ™‚ And yes we all have days like that, just sometimes for me it can come in longer episodes so whenever it creeps up on me I kinda freak out without meaning too. Which of course doesn’t help the situation.

      Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the kind words. I am glad to hear we have a lot in common and you enjoyed my #metoo post. At this point feel lucky you never heard of it. It started off as a good thing and then social media and other media outlets ruined it. Haha

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have those days too and similarly, I can’t shake them off. Sometimes I can just wake up in the morning and the feeling is there ( I particularly hate that). The best thing you can do is care for yourself until it passes. Stay strong

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah it can be hard to shake it off especially when I have been under numerous amount of stress as of late. I am trying my best to stay strong and hang in there. My goal right now is to just prevent a break down or total shut down from happening. I am doing okay so far and it comes and goes. Trying to move forward the best I can. πŸ™‚ Thank you for the comment and support.


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