One of my absolute fav scenes in a show/movie of all fucking time…

May being mental health awareness month I am definitely going to try and write a synoposis/my thoughts etc on the show ’13 reasons why’ as I believe it touches on a lot of important issues. More particular high school and how we need to do more than just talk about it when it comes to teens suffering from mental health problems, the bullying and how it is getting worse etc. In the mean time here is a scene from the first season of the show (not sure why the clip says season 2 Alex’s story blah blah as the second season was just added to netflix yesterday tbh and it is a scene from the first season of the show.) it is not just my favorite scene from that show, but it is one of my all time favorites of any movie or show that I thought I would share it quickly. It is obviously more meaningful if you watch the show, but still it is so beautiful and heart wrenching. Alex Standall was an amazing character too. Not because of his mistakes, but because he felt awful for what he did and was human about it.

The best of Alex… ❤ 🙂

'We were all fucked anyway'
'Why don't they put up a poster that says don't be a fucking dick to people…Why don't we put up that poster' ~ Alex Standall <—One of the best lines of the show imo.
'Yeah the honor board, cause you're all so honorable' LOL
'and how you smell bad. Jessica was like Justin smells bad and I was like yeah I know.' hahahaha


What/Where I have been up to and a show recommendation…

Hello all my wonderful readers and followers

How have you all been?! I’m sure some of you have been wondering how I have been or where I have been so grab a snack or drink because this will probably be a lengthly check in/update.

Before I get into how I am feeling and where my emotions have been at I want to share what I have been doing. It may seem like I have been busy or had an exciting life in my hiatus, but truth is it’s not like that so hopefully this will be brief. Haha. Work has been the usual crap, exhausted and anxious or not I have been showing up to all my shifts and haven’t been late once. Woot. Outside of work truth is I sleep a lot as I don’t get a lot of sleep at night and that is one of the main reasons why I have not just been blogging but haven’t checked in here in quite some time. My hubby’s and I work schedule is also really crazy and plays a factor on everything. Between work, sleep and making time for the husband it leaves very little time for things like blogging.

I also recently purchased The Sims 4 for PC (I know some of you may recall I bought Sims 4 for Xbox when it came out, but I much prefer Sims for PC than console. Always have, always will) I also realize I am a bit late buying Sims 4 for PC (late like Sims 5 late almost lol) as it has been out for years, but truth is I loved The Sims 3 and it took time for Sims 4 to get their shit together I didn’t really think of buying it until recently. So yes with the little free time I have had this month I have either been relaxing watching netflix or playing the sims 4. Btw, if you are a sim fan or care about my opinion…I still prefer Sims 3 in a lot of ways to Sims 4, but Sims 4 has some excellent upgrades and have still been enjoying it and will for sometime I am sure. I am actually hoping if there is a Sims 5 that some of the new upgrades will have features of both the sims 3 and sims 4. (open world and detailed sim customization for some examples)

I have also been rewatching/binge watching ’13 Reasons Why’ first season on netflix as they got the second season and wanted to catch up again before watching the new season. Although I am indifferent about why it needed a second season and it will be challenging for the show to live up to the expectations of the first season, I still want to give it a chance. If you have not heard of the very popular series (as it is very well known and in fact has been played even in some high schools as class projects and discussions etc) it is basically a show about a female named Hannah Baker who took her own life at 17, but made a series of audio tapes of why she killed herself before taking her own life. It is hard not to give too much away without spoiling it, but basically it deals with a lot of hard issues such as mental health, suicide, bullying, sexual assault, rape and other difficult subjects. I think it was a brilliant first season to go along with the book. (I haven’t read the book yet, but yes it was originally a book before the show.) I want to eventually write a post about the first season, but since my blog relates to things like mental health and as a female who has had some similar experiences I thought I would recommend it for you guys to watch it if you haven’t yet. Warning though if you are into those kind of shows/movies/subjects etc it was a really well done series and it was hard for me not to binge watch it so set aside a lot of free time for it. Lol. I will give you a quick insider but not plot summary etc of my opinions. Alex and Tony were my favorite characters in the show, but think they casted the whole crew quite well. There are many dynamics to the show, beautful/heart wrenching scenes and there is even a pause in an episode or two of lighter times. I will share more when I attempt to write a post about it without giving it away. But…yes if you are interested and shows that relate to difficult subjects and mental health help you I really recommend this show. It is one of the best shows on netflix, I just really hope they didn’t ruin that with the second season. However, if you are a victim of say bullying etc or find subjects like sexual assault etc hard then I suggest you don’t watch the show or at least not by yourself. I think this show was great for it’s time as we need to start talking about these issues as hard as it may be. I think it was great for mental health awareness and things like that. We need to start taking action for those living with mental health illnesses and are suffering alone etc.

Now all that is out of the way I can share where my head has been at. Honestly with working almost full time hours and having my days off changed around quite a bit, my anxiety has been really bad and it effects my work and my daily life. I wish it was something I could beat or at least be able to deal with, but it is something I have come to accept that I will always have to battle. I have also been really introverted, even with those close to me like my husband and another reason why I haven’t been writing as much. Since I have been so introverted, I have a hard time explaining how I really feel. I am happy with the changes in our lives and where life is going. I am proud of myself for holding up this job, making bills etc but my mental health does suffer even in the happiest moments. I am basically mentally exhausted more often than not and sometimes it makes me physically sick. My stomach has been having all sorts of problems this past month or so and I have gotten my period three times in one month. I think it all is resulting from anxiety, other mental health issues and the pressure I put on myself etc. Either way I am managing as I haven’t broke the eff down yet and it is paying off for the better. My life has not been this stable in a long time and it feels good to have some stability and knowing all my hard work is going to build a better life for my husband and I. Still it is like I need life to stop for a bit so my anxiety and mind can get in check again. But I will not give up or crash, I promise. 🙂

Ohhh…The hubby and I are taking 6 days off at the end of July to drive back to Canada for my dad’s 60th birthday and get all my stuff that is still there to bring it back. Can’t wait and boy could we use the vacation!

That is all for now! I am off to either watching the second season of ’13 Reasons Why’ or play the Sims 4, I haven’t decided yet. What I have decided is I am finally going to truly enjoy my day off today and do absolutely nothing except for ‘me time’ as most of my days off has been cleaning or doing some kind of errands. Today I don’t give a fuck, the bathroom and whatever else needs to be clean can wait cause I need a day for myself and reset my clock/energy. In the mean time here is a couple songs from ’13 Reasons Why’ first season soundtrack that I absolutely love.

Little bit of a spoiler alert, but this song is a cover of ‘My My, Hey Hey’ Neil Young original. It also played during one of my favorite scenes when Alex jumps in the pool at Bryce’s. (no that is not really a spoiler alert. I just wanted to share as it is a genius and beautiful scene. One of the moments in the show that made me cry.)

A really beautiful song that I am really happy 13 Reasons Why introduced to me as I never heard it before. It plays at the prom I believe when Clay Jensen dances with Hannah Baker.

This post is subject to change at anytime if need be as I did not edit this post…No not even the spelling. :/ ~My Authentic Mind

Warriors Invited To Raise Mental Health Awareness

Stoner On A Rollercoaster is trying to raise awareness and help individuals living with mental health and associated disorders. Please do stop by if you have time and read the post as well as the links shared. If you are living with a mental health disorder and want to help out you can do so by leaving links to your own posts or blogs about mental health and it’s stigma etc.

I need help from all of you. Not for me only but for everyone who is dealing with a mental health problem.

Friends, in our part of world mental health problems are still something we feel too ashamed to talk about.

Either they are misunderstood as some sort of witchcraft or the person is conviniently labeled a psycho and abandoned, mostly emotionaly.

A loved one of mine is living with serious disorders.

I have no strenght and adequate knowlege (as i haven’t seen it myself yet) to write about it, i will hold back my own stream of words for a while until i know what i am talking about.

But i want to raise awareness on the subject as this is consuming our lives and pretty much this era.

People don’t even care about it until unless it doesn’t happen to a person very close or them and then…

View original post 1,074 more words

So I have been MIA for a month…Sorry I haven’t been the consistent blogger I would love to be.

Hello all my wonderful readers and followers!

I have missed all of your guys posts and comments! So I am back for a very short time and another life updatey post as to why I have been MIA for this past month, and how I am doing health wise. (both mentally and physically. Don’t panic though I am not sick or dying I promise!)

As I shared in my past few posts I have started my new job and have been working 5 days a week (just under full time hours) for a few weeks now. I am starting to really get to know my job and be able to work more independently. I also really enjoy my coworkers, team leads etc. However, this week or next week our department and another department are trading team leads, so I will be getting two new team leaders. I really like my team leader right now as he is always happy to help, lets me be independent and very easy going. I have met my two new team leads (one of them actually did part two of my interview for this position) and I like them so far so it shouldn’t be a bad change. It feels really good to be working again, has been a huge confident booster and I am overall happy with the job.

However, it has taken it’s toll on me mentally and physically. The combination of work itself overwhelming me and the brutal starts of 4 am have left me both physically and mentally exhausted. I would say more mentally than physically and I am sure the physical soreness or exhaustion will quickly fade away as I get use to working and getting back into shape again.

However, the physically soreness really sucks. Not only have I not worked in like 8+ months, but I have never had to lift, carry or deal with store products themselves in my past. So on top of me having to rebuild the calluses on my feet, ease back into long periods of walking/standing, I now have to build muscles and get use to working my backstock, ad products around etc. My ideal day looks like emptying the floor (truck load from the night before) pulling pallets and huge M-carts around etc, lifting and carrying numerous heavy-ish products, while trying not to break anything or knock into customers. xD Basically I am responsible for keeping track of inventory and making sure the shelves are filled with products for my aisle I was hired for. They assigned me the pasta aisle and I never thought pasta could be heavy until it comes in a case of 12-16 ish or more. Hahaha. Don’t even get me started on the pasta sauce. There is of course the normal drama and struggles that comes with any job aka lazy or stupid mofos. I absolutely cannot stand people who stalk heavier items on the very top of my m-carts when I am not working. Mainly because I have zero upper body strength. especially above my head, and have a difficult time getting the heavier products off the top especially when I can hardly reach it tbh. I am surprised to say I have yet to drop a case of pasta sauce off of the top and have it break. Etc. *knock on wood* I have however gotten over breaking my first product. Hehe. My first or second shift on my own after shadowing somebody for a week I managed to break one jar of pasta sauce. I accomplished this by lifting a case not realizing it was effing broken, but managed to save the case. So it was not too embarrassing and luckily those jitters of breaking your first products is over with. Cleaning up pasta sauce and broken glass still sucks though. xD

Since this job is so physically demanding my body and muscles have been very sore and my feet are on fire. My feet honestly feel bruised and are constantly swelling. It also feels like I may have broke one of my baby toes or underneath the toe as it is swelling and feels less than favorable even after constantly being put on ice and rested. I think it is from the combination of not doing anything to physical for months, I gained like 10-15 pounds since my last job and wearing very old shoes for a few weeks until I could buy new ones (which I still have to break in tbh) I also think getting insoles for my new shoes would help tremendously as the concrete floors doesn’t do anyone any favors. Whatever the reason may be as to why my feet have been on fire for weeks, I just hope it lessens soon as the past couple days they have been in so much pain it had me almost in tears. I have noticed though I am slowly getting back into shape, so yay for that!

I know for a fact the physical pain or exhaustion will pass eventually. Well the physical tiredness may not go away as I am a night person and it is almost impossible to readjust my routine or sleep schedule as a night owl. However, I think being tired all the time is the least of my worries. What has been and probably will continue to be a challenge with showing up to work everyday and trying to do my best is the anxiety, stress and overwhelming feelings it causes. My brain has been constantly in overdrive or somewhere else tbh. I have noticed it a lot this week and I feel like I am in some fuzzy daze all the time. It is hard to explain, but there have been days it feels like I have lost my most basic features of my brain, especially when it comes to anything social related (then again I don’t think social is a basic part of my brain tbh and thus not shocking) having to remember important shit or anything like that. Part of it is my two days off last week was crazy busy and I didn’t get any time to myself at all, and some of it is just the struggles I have to try my best to manage or overcome on the daily tbh. I thought I was a anxious wreck or felt off before this job, now it is out of control. I am hoping the more I manage a better sleep schedule and get use to this routine my anxiety will lessen over time. I have seen my schedule two weeks in advance and it is the same as my last week, so it looks like I will relatively have the same schedule. Having the same routine is a huge bonus for a person like myself and I hope it helps keep my overwhelm feelings and anxiety in check.

Minus the physical and mental exhausted, the hubby and I are really excited about the changes we have made this past month. I may have mentioned it before about the hubby getting interviewed for the same store I work at, if I didn’t..well he did and guess what? He got the job! The store director who did part two of his interview was very impressed with his maturity and past retail experience. Those who have trained him so far this week have said the same thing. I am not suppose to go into detail just how well things are going for him already and what impression he has made as it is personal info between me, him, and the store director, but basically it’s really great news. It basically looks like we have a future with this store and many opportunities to move up. I am so happy we both are making a really decent wage and between the both of us we are averaging almost 70 hours a week. I may or not pick up a shift somewhere else if I want to be closer to 40 hours or have 40 hours, but I am currently getting use to getting back into the routine of working and see how things go. The store has given me great hours so for now I want to keep my promise as open availability.

You know how I mentioned our car was going to complete crap? Well in that same week my hubby’s phone also fell in the snow and broke after a couple days of use. It was a 4 year old phone anyways. Well I got great news on both those ends. We are financing a almost brand new 2014 Chevi cruz, with only 19,000 miles and both each got a new phone for a very great deal. The monthly cost is also very cheap for what we need and we do get unlimited data. We are really enjoying the new car and phones as they are all a lot better than what we had before. Haha. The car was a bit of a headache for a few days while working out the deal. We got the car so I don’t want to go into a lot of detail, but basically a lack of communication etc and catching up with old friends last Tuesday caused both my days off and the Friday before with no down time. We spent after my shift at work until 5:30 pm at the dealership and a lot of the following Monday. Oh well, it got sorted and we got the car of our dreams really. We originally looked into the 2014 Chevi sonic, and although it had more bells and whistles I am really glad we went for the Chevi Cruz as it had less miles, more space and it still has a lot of new technology our older car didn’t. So yes between the new car, phones and new jobs the hubby and I are in a really great place. We feel like getting out on our own no longer renting his parent’s basement etc all seems very possible in the near future.

Alright, that is a lot that is new with me. Sorry for the long life update/unedited rant, but that is what happens when I take a month off blogging. Sorry guys again! I plan to get back into blogging and writing again as soon as I get a better routine and hang of my work schedule. I promise this break may continue, but it will not be permanent. At the very least I am going to make an effort to read more blogs and share comments until I can get back to more writing as well. Like always, I hope you enjoyed my post and feel free to leave your thoughts in the comment section. I am off to do chores and take a shower. Back to start another work week tomorrow…Urg. xD

Have a good week everyone!

WordPress is broken yet again?!?!

I have noticed and seen a few different problems with wordpress recently, but because I really haven’t been around I didn’t think much of it or let it bother me. However, I signed on now and tried to post a comment on a blog post and it wouldn’t post. Tried again and still wouldn’t post. It seems to have nothing to do with the person’s blog or their post, but more of an issue on the wordpress end. In case it was an issue with their blog post, I tried to post on another blogger’s post with no success. It just deletes or nothing happens when I go to share the comment. Anyone else having similar issues or is it just me? Although I realize if you are experiencing similar issues you won’t be able to comment on my post. Hehe. So maybe scratch that or if anyone who can post comments but heard rumors it isn’t working for some, please let me know. Btw, I have recently changed internet browsers and I am wondering if there is a certain browser that works best for WordPress? I kept meaning to ask, and maybe that could help fix some of the problems I see far too often. I know it is not my internet connection. I understand that every website, app etc has it’s share of issues, but…I have not come across so many as wordpress as I witness them weekly, and some go for long periods of times without being fixed. It’s very frustrating when they have one of the greatest communities and over all a great blogging platform. It just shocks me sometimes with how many problems arise and their help seems really outdated and slow etc. You can ignore my rant btw, I am just rambling like I always do. xD On a serious note though if anyone has an idea if wordpress works better with certain browsers etc or have any feedback about such things it would be greatly appreciated.

Now for another mini life update of what I have been up to etc.

After orientation and long hours of boring online training I finally got my schedule for my real training. It starts Sunday at 6 am – 12:30 pm. If you think 6 am is brutal, don’t feel sorry for me yet…My average shifts and will be for the rest of the training next week will be 4 am – 12:30 pm. I am not complaining though. I have a lot of hours next week for training which will be nice, but am worried my shifts may be less than that the weeks after, but will take the hours when I can get them. May have to pick up a shift or two part time elsewhere if the hubby and I keep wanting to move in the direction we are going, but we will see. My plan right now is to just get use to working again, even if it is 3-4 shifts a week. I have 5 (8 hour) shifts next week, so that’s a good sign/start. Oh and my husband also applied to the same store as a back up, and the lady told me today while I was receiving my schedule that she will be calling him on Friday to schedule an interview. So yay! Things are really looking up for us lately and I couldn’t be more happy and finally feel a lot more secure about the future. Something I haven’t felt since we met, to be completely honest. Not because of our relationship itself, but the barriers and challenges we have had to face/overcome such as immigration and being from different countries. Thankfully he is American and I am only Canadian. It really could have been a lot more difficult, as challenging as it has been and expensive. Lol. I actually think this may be the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember. I just have to stay focused and keep my eye on the big picture or big goal. As I know working etc has always had it’s share of stress and anxiety overload. I think I know even if against all odds, it is actually worth it. To be completely independent is something I never really had, and to over come that will be one of my biggest accomplishments for a person like myself. As silly and stupid as that may sound. Other than that, the hubby and I have been binge watching Hell’s Kitchen on Amazon Prime, as neither of us ever watched it on cable. We only would watch those clips on youtube of chef Ramsey freaking out. Hahaha. I never normally like reality shows, but here I am once again finding myself quite caught up in one for the time being. It is funny though I am so skeptical of what really is reality etc, and I find myself constantly judging the show in my head. ‘No way this all can’t be a coincidence,’ ‘oh I am sure he cut his hand that is why he won’t even show it on camera, they totally added this shit for drama/heat up the competition etc.’ Luckily Gordon Ramsey is thoroughly entertaining. He is so brutal though. I am probably evil deep down for laughing at the shit he yells and says to these people on the show. “Yeah, why don’t you go for a walk and lose some weight!” “THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT A NON STICK PAN…FUCK ME” “You thought cold water boils faster than hot water?! WTF?” Seriously though, the man kills me. He is such a troll. xD Speaking of which I am off to play some sims for a bit while the hubby games and then time for more Hells Kitchen, laughs and cuddles.

Bye for now! Hope everyone is having a great week!

Mini Life Update

Hello all my wonderful readers and followers! I hope everyone is having a great week thus far. 🙂

I am going to attempt a quick blog post, but will be another quick life-updatey post.

My mind is still a bit scrambled and all over the place. Some days it is harder to find motivation than others, but the weird thing is I have been spending a lot of time with my husband with no aggravation or need for alone time. It’s weird and hard to explain. I have been spending a lot of time with the hubby on his days off, and when I do get time for myself I either have been binge watching Heartland, a movie or playing the sims 3 obsessively. My moods have been quite stable, but I still can’t bring myself to process things right, write about how I feel/doing etc or other things. So I am still socializing quite successfully, but I think when I am alone I become too exhausted for anything else. I thought it was autistic shut down, depression or some other awful notion I go through, but it isn’t because when those things happen the first thing normally to go or fail is my social abilities or I need to be alone more often than not. Those things are not happening, so frankly I have no idea what has been going on with me lately.

It’s frustrating, but I need to snap the eff out of it. I really want to get back to writing more as it is good for me, usually my number one self therapeutic strategy I turn to and the most important reason why I need to get back to processing and functioning properly is because I finally heard back about that job I got. (Part time inventory coordinator at a nearby grocery store for those who missed my past update posts) My orientation is tomorrow at 9 am until 11:30 ish am(although I have to go in for 8:30 am to fill out hiring paperwork etc most of which I will ask to take home anyways as with immigration is a pain to understand, I want a second opinion aka my husband’s before I fill everything out) so I may end up waiting from 8:30 for my orientation to begin anyways. Either way it’s great news and they pay you for the whole process at least. It only took 3 weeks for my background check to clear…Oh the struggles of being an legal alien. xD It even took me calling them, and when I called them the other day for the second time it sounded like they wanted to drag their feet even more. “Your background check cleared yesterday actually and I was going to call you, but I wanted to see if another employee we just hired background check would clear so I can set up an orientation and she could do their orientation with you as well” Um hello?! It has been almost a month since my interview and I got hired, the federal government was faster doing my background check and you want me to wait longer? No I can’t wait any fucking longer as my hubby and I are a bit financially stressed. I was a lot calmer than this with the lady of course, but my desperation must have worked as she told me she understood went ahead and booked my orientation for Friday anyways. Sometimes you have to put the pressure on to get what you want. I am really hung up and worried for some stupid reason about what to wear to the orientation. The dress code is wear whatever you want, but I am sure they won’t appreciate if I show up in my pajamas, so I need to find something. It is not that I am so much worried cause the dress code is wear whatever you please, I just realized how much of my clothes are still back in Canada and how much lack of clothes I have with me. This is what happens when you make plans last minute or plan to visit and end up moving away from home without going home again. I only have one suitable comfortable but dressy sweater shirt thing, but I wore it to the interview so that would look kinda silly. The other clothes I have either seem way too casual (like lay around the house casual) or I don’t like the way they fit etc. Oh well, I will figure it out even if I have to go in jeans and a tshirt. So yes, great news and I am actually kind of excited to get back to work as much as I have enjoyed my time off. (8 + months.) I just hope I can at least get some motivation back in my life and maybe this can help me get this back. The hubby and I are honestly so fed up with being broke mofos, that I don’t even care if this job makes me an anxious or stressed out wreck again no more excuses. I think I would feel a lot better if I went to work evryday and was able to come home to my own apartment or house and satisfied I am helping paying the bills. Independence is a good thing and I won’t have to answer to anyone but my lovable husband. You can only make excuses for so long. I think we both finally realize where we need to be and have achieved the biggest step to achieve our goals which was to be legal in the same country so we can both work. At this point I will work at McDonalds if it means complete independence.

Our car that we bought last summer (used and very cheap – our own hard work or money we put into it) is taking a shit and getting worse by the week we now have the stress of car shopping. Which really sucks and all the more reason I needed to start my job asap even if it just $200 extra a week. So been stressing about that. Oh well, least it still drives from A to B for now, even if it sounds like it is about to blow up. I also realized last night how much I stress weeks later on stupid shit or times I fail socially. So the other week I had to call my old work about tax stuff from last year, and the lady I spoke with who I knew quite well when I worked last year ask how I was doing, had heard I got married and congratulated me etc. I gave her the quick update and said thank you for the congrats, but not once on the phone did I ask how she was or how it was going at work as we use to always bitch about the stupidity of the place together on smoke breaks etc. I know it’s silly, and she probably didn’t even care or see it as rude, I have been really hung up on it. Like how selfish can one be? Not to ask how the other person is doing when you haven’t seen them in a year…Like wtf is that?! Like to me it seems kinda rude. I know I hate when people go off in a tangent about their life and don’t ask me about mine. Even though I didn’t mean to, I was curious and I do normally ask how people are doing (especially if they take an interest in my life) I just have a really hard time socializing even with the little things, especially over the phone. So even though this happened like a couple weeks back I am still thinking about it and when I do it makes me feel really bad. It really bothered me lying in bed last night and then I am like wtf is wrong with me? Why am I thinking about this still two weeks later?! I do this shit all the time and I don’t know why. I will like go back and replay the incident over and over again in my head, how I could have done it differently or I should have said this yada yada yada and then it like consumes me and I feel really bad or guilty. I wish I didn’t sweat the small stuff, especially when I didn’t do it on purpose, it wasn’t my fault or things that don’t even really matter, but I do every time. It’s one thing to let it bother you after all is said or done for the rest of that day or the day after, but why do I stay hung up on it for weeks? I don’t know, but I have always been that way for as long as I can remember. It sucks, because I don’t think it is good for me or my health.

Anyways I just wanted to do an unedited quick life update post. Not much new in my life, but I at least wanted to share the good news about my job. 🙂

Wake up to a cloudy day
Dark rolls in and it starts to rain
Staring out to the cage-like walls
Time goes by and the shadows crawl
Crushin’ candy crushin’ pills
Got no job, mom pays my bills
Textin’ ex’s get my fill
Sweatin’ bullets, Netflix-chills
World’s out there singin’ the blues
Twenty more dead on the evening news
Think to myself “really, what’s the use?”
I’m just like you, I was born to lose

All I Want To Do Is Be More Like Me And Be Less Like You…

One of my favorite songs by Linkin Park was always Numb. Partly because it is yet another song that really helps me with my diagnoses, especially autism and when it comes to the ignorance of people or society. Here is a beautiful and very well done cover by MGK of Numb by Linkin Park. MGK is a rapper and when honestly the cover blew me away the first time I heard it as I have only heard him sing in few main chorus etc. Also the take and mood of the cover felt very different from him. I was impressed and am listening to it again. Think I will also go on a much needed Linkin Park binge today. 🙂 I have been listening to a lot of LP lately and not just because of the passing of Chester, but since a teen Linkin Park was always in my top playlists and one of my favorite bands. I will forever be a fan and my heart goes out to Chester’s family, friends and beloved fans. How many more people have to suffer or take their own lives for mental illness to get the suppport it needs, end the stigma and we can be more open about it? It is astonishing to me how easily society still dismisses it and is so very ignorant towards it. With suicide rates rising, school shootings rising, other violent acts (I am not saying just because you are mentally ill that makes you a violent individual, it does NOT. But those who act out in such violent ways and killing human beings, these people are very mentally ill. and it is apart of the stigma I think we do have to admit and fix. These people need support and help too.) but what will it take for us to get society to pay attention?

Anyways rant over…here is the beautiful cover by MGK 🙂

And to give you some kind of an idea of MGK’s original style and music if you are interested and why the cover took me back a bit. xD

Another song that has helped me through a lot especially in my twenties. ❤