So broke all the rules, but I did it!!! 31 Day Song Challenge all-in-one…

Hello all my wonderful readers and followers!

If you are a regular follower or reader of my posts you would know I tried to do the 30/31 Day Song Challenge near the beginning of December. I had every intent and was excited to stick to the rules of posting daily songs and finishing the challenge as I love music and thought I could share stories through music for viewers etc. Truth is, I was never very good with posting daily and with the holidays I became extremely busy. I also found out not only did I fail to post daily, but I think you also have to start on the 1st of the month you choose to do the challenge in, which I also failed to do.

However, I still love the idea of this challenge and really want to still take part in it so I am going to do the whole challenge in one post. Instead of posting it throughout the 30 or 31 day time frame (how many days are in a month you choose to do the challenge in) I will be posting all the 31 Songs in one day. The ones I chose for the few days I did do will be the same.

I also plan on doing this challenge again in the near/not too distant future with following the rules now that I am more familiar with them. Haha.

So guys…This is my second, but different attempt at The 30/31 Day Song Challenge. Much like before, I am really happy I found this challenge and chose to do it as music is something that has always been a huge part of my life. I will be following the same rules as posting a chosen song for each day and sharing a little life story or memory that goes along with each or some of the songs so viewers can also get to know more about me and because music can inspire writing. I find this to be the perfect combination of two things I cannot live without… writing and music.

HERE ARE ALL THE RULES I BROKE…But seriously below is my take on what I believe to be the official rules of the 30/31 Song Day Challenge

1. Pick the month you would like to do the challenge in/for. (IE: The next month closest to you when you think about starting this challenge, rather you want to post 30 or 31 songs as 30 is for the months that have 30 days in a month and so on. Does that mean if you did it in February Leap Year bs, you could do the 28 Song Day Challenge? Is this an official rule already or should it be if it isn’t? xD)
2. Start the challenge on the 1st day of the month that you chose. (IE: December 1st will be something like your intro and Day 1 of the Song Challenge. OR you could also do an intro way or just before your posting of Day 1, but must post day 1 on the 1st of the month. I think anyways…I really don’t know guys, feel free to make up your own rules or break them like I did tbh
3. This rule really isn’t in order and more speaks for the rules of the challenge as a whole btw…

For the time frame of 28, 30 or 31 days (It depends on what month you are doing it in. Read above duh…) you will share/post a song everyday. The song you have to share will depend on the rules given in this picture I have inserted below for you all or perhaps a different day song challenge you found with different rules, or rather you choose to break the rules etc. 😀

30 Day Song Challenge

That’s it…It’s really that simple, so if you love music like I do or are just bored with blogging and need some new ideas feel free to join in with me on this challenge. As a huge music crazed person I will make sure to follow you on your journey of the challenge, however you choose to do it. I hope you at least enjoy checking out some of my picks for this challenge. 🙂

Day 1 ~ A Song You Like With A Colour In The Title

The Red by Chevelle was a huge part of my teen years that played many times on my ipod with ear buds at school and because I believe it deals with mental health illnesses much like my blog it is the perfect fit for day one. 🙂

Day 2 ~ A Song You Like With A Number In The Title

Day 2’s song of ‘The 30 Day Song Challenge’ brings you a song that quickly became one of the most popular songs of the 2000’s and climbed charts with it’s challenging lyrics and recognizable, yet unique riff. ‘Seven Nation Army’ by The White Stripes is one of the greatest songs of the 2000 era, if you ask me. As a person who questions everything and is a bit of a rebel against society it is no surprise that I instantly fell in love with this song and has stuck with me since.

‘And I’m talking to myself at night because I can’t forget, back and forth through my mind, behind a cigarette’ ` These lyrics are oddly relatable.

Day 3 ~ A Song That Reminds You Of Summer Time

Most of Bob Marley’s hits reminds most people of summertime, but it holds many great memories for me. Days of swimming and dancing around the pool with friends in the neighbourhood and family to his music blasting through our portable stereo with small speakers. Back in those days most would frown upon the lack of technology, but at the time it was perfect. Bob Marley’s lyrics also went against the grain and sang about dreams of freedom, so it shouldn’t be surprising to see this song also on my list this time around. 🙂

Day 3 brings you my favourite song by Bob Marley.

Day 4 ~ A Song That Reminds You Of Someone You’d Rather Forget…

As a fairly private person let’s just say this song just doesn’t just remind me of a person or people, but those times in my life as well. This song also in particularly helped me move forward from one of those people.

Day 5 ~ A Song That Needs To Be Played Loud

Be it when it was released in 1972 on Vinyl with a sticker proclaiming “TO BE PLAYED AT MAXIMUM VOLUME” or he is my dad’s and one of mine most beloved artists, there is no doubt this song and entire album always should be played as loud as possible. I also felt it was well suited as lately we have been losing a lot of the best artists music has ever seen and he was one of those few without a doubt.

I still cry sometimes when I hear this song. Very few oldies can blow me away like this song.

Day 6 ~ A Song That Makes You Want To Dance

Day 6’s song makes me always dance no matter where it plays be it at work, in a store shopping, randomly playing on my playlist at home or playing it just because I want to dance. It also never fails to put me in a good mood. 😀

Day 7 ~ A Song To Drive To

There are many great driving tunes out there and there is nothing like driving down the open road with your favourite tunes. As a person who always had playlists and mixed cds of 100’s of my favourite driving tunes it was hard to pick just one, so I chose a song that shares a fairly recent moment in my life even though I shared this song a few times in the past.

When the hubby and I chose to come to the states almost two years ago it was a kind of a crazy decision and we had no idea if it would actually be permanent. It was also one of my first times leaving home in a bit of an unknown situation, yet new experience. It became permanent and was one of the best decisions I have made in a long time. I listened to this song on the drive from Canada to here and ever since the song has meant something special to me. I had discovered the song just before we left and is rare you find songs like these just at the right time. I also want to go on a road trip with the hubby ASAP btw. xD

BTW…Some of the lyrics on my homepage as my description are from this song.

Day 8 ~ A Song About Drugs or Alcohol

Let’s just say I have seen alcohol destroy lives, alcoholism effects my personal life and it is heartbreaking to watch. This song and band was another huge part of my mental health music I grew up adoring. I can’t count the times I blared this song on my huge speakers and laid in my bed crying at night. It also still helps me get through shit. Most people don’t believe Alcoholism or a drug addiction is a sickness, but it is and I even believe it could be genetic. Every time I take a sip of alcohol, especially strong wines or heavy alcohol it gives me this sensation or feeling I can’t describe. There are a few reasons why I don’t drink or rarely drink, one is because what fun it had I experimented with as a rebellious youth, honestly think it ain’t worth it, especially the hangover and I am terrified of it destroying my life more than it already has.

Day 9 ~ A Song That Makes You Happy

Heh…From my very fucked up youth times.

‘I’ll miss the playgrounds and the animals and digging up worms, I’ll miss the comfort of my mother and the weight of the world, I’ll miss my sister, miss my father, miss my dog and my home, Yeah I’ll miss the boredom and the freedom and the time spent alone’

Day 10 ~ A Song That Makes You Sad

It being December and an amazing song from one of my most beloved music groups growing up I feel this is a great pick.


‘And I take back all the things I said to make you feel like that, and I just wish that I didn’t feel. Like there was something I missed, and I take back all the things that I said to you’

Day 11 ~ A Song You Never Get Tired Of

What would a music challenge be without some Pink Floyd? Here is my favourite song featured from an album I never get tired of listening too, Dark Side Of The Moon. Many memories of laying on my bedroom floor or bed rocking out to this album with my headset or blaring through huge speakers. This is one of my most fondest memories and overwhelming experiences I have had with music. I suggest rather you are a die hard fan of Pink Floyd or not to find a quiet place, put on this album and take it all in. I promise you it will be one of the greatest things you ever experience.

There are very few albums that have been successful as this and can pretty much be proclaimed perfect and one of the best pieces of art to ever grace us. This song and album is truly timeless…

Day 12 ~ A Song From Your Preteens

Confession time…I was obsessed with boy bands like Good Charlotte and Simple Plan as a preteen. XD

Day 13 ~ A Song You Like From The 70’s

I was going to play it safe and pick a song from one of my favourite albums of all time, Rumours which was released in 1977, but instead I am deciding to go with a song that relates to the topic of my blog and also a safe bet. This band released some of the best music in the 70’s and really in all of music. This song in particular for reasons I can’t really describe rightfully somehow relates to how I adventure through life being on the spectrum. That and it is honestly a beautiful song. Especially this particular performance of the song, sang by one of my favorite vocalists.

Day 14 ~ A Song You’d Love To Be Played At Your Wedding

Though our wedding ceremony was simple, quiet, absolutely gorgeous and one of the best days of my life we never had a wedding reception so I never got to pick one of the many songs for our first dance or playlists for the reception etc…Without a doubt this song would have been played at our wedding and will be if we plan to renew vows and/or have an actual reception in the near future. Pearl Jam’s music has always held a special place in my heart, as does this song when I met my hubby.

Who wouldn’t want Eddie’s gorgeous voice be played at their wedding tbh? If I could marry his voice I would, but this is impossible and the hubby would kill me. Jk…He knows all my bizarre thoughts and secrets. I honestly wonder why he married me. Hahahaha

‘I pull you close, so much to lose,Knowing that, nothing lasts forever, I didn’t care, before you were here, A distant laughter, with the ever after, But, all things change, let this remain’

Fun Music Fact: Eddie Vedder wrote this song in a hotel room when he heard sirens close by.

Day 15 ~ A Song You Like That’s A Cover By Another Artist

Although there are a lot of amazing covers out there, there are very few that I can claim I love more than the original. Some music fans refuse to listen to covers or it is not to their liking, but I always thought it takes a unique kind of talent to do originals justice, especially those who put their own spin on the song or just beautifully represent the original piece and I do believe it is it’s still art. Some would rather sit around and argue all day about art, while others just appreciate, support and enjoy it. Here’s one of my favourite covers that I love more than the original.

A song that is not just argued over what version is best, but who actually did the original. Prince wrote the original and Sinead O’ Connor sang it as a cover, but neither are in my favourites. My most beloved version of ‘Nothing Compares To You’ belongs to Stereophonics with Chris Cornell’s cover as a close second.

Day 16 ~ A Song That Is A Classic Favorite

With the likes of David Bowie, Pink Floyd and other most beloved artists on my list thus far, I bet you’re wondering who owns a classic favourite song of mine. 😉 Though some would already agree they will forever remain a favorite from the 90’s era, I am choosing a personal classic favourite of my music era or from my personal upbringing. It may be an odd choice though, but I don’t really care because music is a personal opinion contrary to popular belief.

A very delicate time in music and because I still cry when I see this performance this is a classic favourite of mine and it always will be. When music fans question’s Cobain’s talent and his obsessed minions, he blew everyone’s mind away with this performance/music session, rather you hate to admit it or not. What came after was very unfortunate, tragic and was one of saddest days in the history of music. Cobain was a hella of a lot more talented and gorgeous man than a lot of people realized. This particular performance I am choosing proves as it is as much beautiful that it is heart breaking. Just the way the candles and the emotion in Kurt’s voice gives a tingling/darkening feeling whenever I hear/watch the performance.

Day 17 ~ A Song You’d Sing A Duet With Someone On Karaoke

With songs or mentions of both Eddie Vedder and Chris Cornell in this challenge so far and they are some of the hubby’s and mine favourite artists I would have to pick this song to sing a duet with him. Though I would never really sing karaoke, even in my most drunken/goofball state. I have became more outgoing in my later years, but not that outgoing. Besides I could never do these two gorgeous voices justice.

Day 18 ~ A Song From The Year You Were Born

Some of you may already know that the 80’s is one of my most hated era’s for music, and though I am kinda ashamed to be born in that era, least it was the late 80’s as I am a 1988 baby. Although the challenge does not say rather I have to like the song or not, I would only think it would make sense that I do because otherwise what would be the point/challenge? Luckily I can normally find a few songs to my liking from any style of music, era, playlist and what not.

Here is a song I love from one of my favourite music groups from the year I was born…Also have many memories of playing this song on Guitar Hero (I think it was anyway) with friends.

Day 19 ~ A Song That Makes You Think About Life

Though the first verse of this controversial and challenging song reminds me of myself a few years back, I still feel it is relevant. Leave it to Hopsin to call out society and the culture of hip hop in one song. Rather you like hip hop or not you cannot deny the intensity in this song or the the challenges in society Hop called out. This song was questioned for racism and made many music fans angry, but I didn’t think that was the point of the song. It made people feel uncomfortable because it called people out on their bull shit in life and that is not a reason to be angry with Hopsin. The first part of this whole song made me feel guilty as fuck the first time I heard the track and you didn’t see me hating on it, nah dude I just got a grip and changed my life around for the better. This is one of the most honest, thought provoking and angst songs hip hop has ever seen and if you ask me it is pure fire.

Day 20 ~ A Song That Has Many Meanings To You

I was moved and overwhelmed by emotion the first time I heard this song. Since then it has always been a huge part of my music listening and part of my life. From a person who has battled depression throughout my life and other mental health illnesses to having friends/family/relatives etc with drug addictions/substance abuse struggles or also mental health issues and it also reminding me of a particular ex this song is one of few that has many heartbreaking meanings to me. ❤

Day 21 ~ A Song You Like With A Person’s Name In The Title

Day 21 brings you one of my all time favourite songs of all time, although I never really knew the whole story behind this song. Haha. None the less, Elvis Costello is always a great choice and I love the name Alison to boot. 🙂

‘Alison, I know this world is killing you…Oh, Alison, my aim is true’

Day 22 ~ A Song That Moves You Forward

Though I have many songs that have helped me with things like my mental illnesses or other struggles in my life and move forward I am going to choose a song that has been part of my playlists a lot recently.

‘Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep, everybody’s worried about me, in too deep, say I’m in too deep…in too deep, And it’s been two years I miss my home, but there’s a fire burning in my bones’

It has been almost two years since I have been home and I am super homesick tbh, especially during the holidays. 😥

Day 23 ~ A Song You Think Everybody Should Listen To

As a person who listens to a ton of music, kinda preaches her music like a religion and there are so many powerful and beautiful songs that can be appreciated by everyone no matter what kind of music fan you are this is going to be one of the toughest choices I have made in this challenge. I am also going to try to go outside the box a bit so I don’t bore you all with the stereotypical songs such as Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin or Coyote by Joni Mitchell, not that these songs are not great, they’re amazing but most of the biggest hits have already been heard by everyone tbh. If you have not heard Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin than please don’t talk to me or bother reading/listening to the songs in this challenge as you won’t appreciate anything about it. XD

I am going to choose a song that was probably the first song to ever put me at a loss for words and to this day I cannot fully describe the power of emotions I feel when listening to this song. I think it’s a perfect example that you don’t have to even like hip hop or critique the song for it’s simplistic beat and lyrics to be taken back by the story that is told in this powerful song. As a huge supporter and fan of Immortal Technique there are many great tunes that should probably be heard by society as most of his stuff inspires critical thinking, but I think this song in particular should be heard at least once by everyone as it deals with some of the most awful things in society and what will probably be the death of humanity…Greed. As much as at times the lyrics can be simplistic, I still think Immortal Technique powerfully told this story through art.

‘The devil grows inside the hearts of the selfish and wicked, white, brown, yellow and black colored is not restricted, you have a self destructive destiny when your inflicted and you’ll be one of Gods children and fell from the top, there’s no diversity because we’re burning in the melting pot…So when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never because the dance with the devil might last you forever’

Btw guys…Immortal Technique shared he never raped anyone and the story is completely fictional, but he told it in such a in your face manner to get the point across and to make it believable. Although the story is entirely false, it doesn’t change the fact this is the society we are actually living in and stuff like this does happen, everyday.

Day 24 ~ A Song By A Band You Wish Were Still Together

I am going to choose a song that was a huge part of my teens and by a band that I was heartbroken over when I first heard they split. Travis Barker was also one of my favourite drummers growing up and though I followed him passed Blink 182 stage, I was obsessed with Blink. XD There are rumors and talks of the band getting back together but A. I will believe it when I see it and B. It took them too damn long to do it, so therefor it doesn’t count or matter tbh

Day 25 ~ A Song You Like From An Artist Who Is No Longer Living

With selections from great artists who are no longer with us already on my list such as Chester Bennington, David Bowie, Cobain and maybe more you are probably wondering who is left…Have we lost that many great musicians? Well yes we have, especially in recent years. With Bowie, Cornell, Bennington and Cohen’s death all within close distance of each other was all too heartbreaking for music fans everywhere. In fact, it was so close that when Bennington sang Hallelujah at Chris Cornell’s funeral it became a very emotional time for loved ones and music fans alike. Not only was it a beautiful tribute to the losses of both Lenard Cohen and Chris Cornell, but Chester Bennington sang Hallelujah so beautifully only to take his own life shortly after, which makes it even more tragic in itself.

My chosen song is not about any of the above mentions or this video, but she did die in a similar time frame and if you are interested in Chester Bennington’s clip of singing ‘Hallelujah’ by Lenard Cohen at Chris Cornell’s funeral you can view it here…Warning: It is tear worthy.

Did I lose you with how deep I was getting or did I just plain confuse you? I am sorry if I did, but yes we have lost more than a handful of music’s most talented artists. I may also either lose you or shock you with the song I am going to choose as she pretty much flew under the radar, gained a bit of popularity with appearing on the voice, but gained the most attendance from her death…unfortunately. This is yet another out of the box/against the grain selection on my challenge.

I probably first heard of Christina Grimmie somewhere in her early or mid youtube career (If she had a youtube career? I don’t know everything about her tbh.) time frame. Either way, I knew of her and her work with music well before she was tragically shot at a concert at the very young age of twenty-two. She is one of many young musicians that died way before their time. However, her death is not just tragic or saddening because of her age, I found the whole scenario surrounding the death to be very tragic and it’s really heartbreaking to know that kinda stuff is actually happening in society. I could go on and on about how much I adored her or her work and her talent, but instead I will share a few covers or videos surrounding her. I know the challenge states to post just one song but…I already failed all the rules pretty much and she is worth a tribute.
Probably my favourite cover by her

Fast forward to 1:45 for her cover of the second verse. Her voice is absolutely stunning here and made me have a new appreciation for this song which I originally didn’t really give any attention too.

Her killer performance/appearance on the voice…Yes she made me listen to a Miley Cyrus song and actually enjoy it. 😉

RIP Christina Grimmie ❤

Day 26 ~ A Song That Makes You Want To Fall In Love

With love being one of the most powerful and greatest emotions we feel there is no surprise that the gallery or discography of love/heartbreak etc is endless. I know I have a huge selection and playlists of my most adored love songs. For this challenge’s pick I am going to choose a song that has personal meaning to me and for that reason makes me fall in love all over again every time I hear it.

As some of you may know, I met my husband online originally and met a couple months or something (My memory sucks, k guys?) after in person. However, I do remember little cliche things like this because even little ol’ me can have a soft spot for romance. Anywho…When we were talking for days/nights on end, everyday/night this song played on my random youtube mix one night and I instantly started feeling this warm feeling and almost cried. I sent the song to my hubby not thinking much of it or wanting to make a big deal out of it as we hadn’t even been talking for more than a month etc, and knew I was being extremely cheesy and stereotypical probably. That song was not really one of ‘our songs,’ though it was probably in consideration. It was finalized and a bit too coincidental when it played the minute I walked into the bus station to meet my hubby for the first time in person.

Much like this coincidental incident, here is another Christina xD

Day 27 ~ A Song That Breaks Your Heart

I was originally going to share this artist or song for Day 28 (a song by an artist whose voice you love) as I absolutely love this man’s voice, but this performance is too heart breaking to pass up. Be it his gorgeous voice, the heartbreaking lyrics or his very desperate and emotional performance of the song…Rick Danko gave make your fans feel the music a whole new meaning. I couldn’t even relate to heart break the first time I heard this song as I was still a child, yet this song sent chills down my spine, my eyes teared up and I felt the emotional despair in his voice and performance.

Day 28 ~ A Song By An Artist Whose Voice You Love

Since I chose to go with more of a personal favourite of mine and not anything to do with the 100 singers of all time or any of the sorts, it may be another hidden gem or surprise on my challenge. However, it should not be too much of a surprise as I already shared a song from his band’s gallery. It just happens that not only does he sing one of my potential songs I want played at my wedding and some of my favourite love songs, he also has an absolutely gorgeous voice that I adore, which I also shared my affinity with prior to this. 🙂 Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam, that sound are one of the few good things left from their era. When Chris Cornell left us, I remember repeating ‘Thank fuck we still have Vedder…”

Day 29 ~ A Song You Remember From Your Childhood

All I am going to say is rocking out to this whole album, but especially this song with my cousin in the 90’s, not knowing anything about drugs or anything. Later to find more meaning of growing up and finding a personal connection/relation to their music, which of course helped me find a new appreciate for their music all over again. Here is my favourite song by one of my most beloved bands of the 90’s…Sublime.

OMG GUYS WE ARE ALMOST THERE! BUT…first we must take a moment for one of my childhood until now tbh music obsessions…

Day 30 ~ A Song That Reminds You Of Yourself

Shockingly here is one of my favourite artists of all time and was for a very long point in my life has yet to take his spot on this challenge and because he hasn’t I may have to break some more rules. Since I have already broken these damn rules more than once, this probably will not qualify as one of my best attempts in doing the Song Day Challenge and because I amazed myself by not choosing from his outstanding gallery of music thus far, I am going to share two or three of his songs as a lot of his music reminds me of myself or has gotten me through some of the roughest times in my life.

Though it is not a surprise that as a writer, lyricist or lyrical person like myself would praise Eminem’s music or lyrics for the true art it is, or be obsessed with his writing style…choosing this particular single off one of his way later albums could be a surprise to some as it is not highly praised by his die hard fans or would go down in history of one his best songs recorded. However, I am not choosing this song as a personal favourite or choosing it for it’s tools etc, rather I am choosing it for personal relations in the song and hints of Eminem could also have something like Asperger Syndrome or something similar. As a person on the Autism Spectrum, struggles with mental illnesses and could always find herself relating to a lot of Em’s lyrics growing up this choice really is not a surprise at all. 🙂

Another single that may not be more known for it’s relatable lyrics than technique of the writing etc and also from his later albums, as a person who has grown up different and struggled with multiple things with a blog about topics like mental health, this has a well deserving spot here.

Lastly my favourite song in all of Eminem’s gallery and has motivated me through a lot of tough times in my life.

And the last pick of this challenge…

Day 31 ~ A Song That Comforts Your Soul

This song and performance never fails to give me the feels and warm my soul. ❤

Well that’s it…Finally.

I hope you enjoyed it and everyone had a great Christmas. 🙂

This post has been edited to the best of my ability. It will not be edited or changed as this challenge was all about having fun and much like the rules not having a purpose, neither does the grammar or overall layout of this post… ~ My Authentic Mind


‘…But I’m not a fool there’s no need to pretend and just because you got yourself in some shit it doesn’t mean I have to come deal with it’

This pretty much sums up my day/life tbh. Exhausted, having an extremely difficult time dealing with shit, over worked and tired of cry baby bitches. 😉

Come Talk To Me…

This song has held a special place in my heart ever since my dad told me in my early twenties this song reminded him of me when I was growing up. I love most of Gabriel’s music, but this one means a lot to me.

I was a very quiet, internal and at times emotionless child which continued into my teens. I was very close with my dad as a child, but things are so much easier when dad can fix your pain with a bandaid. It’s a different story when it comes to trying to get throigh to your daughter emotionally or heal emotional wounds. Especially when they don’t ever share how they are feeling. How can you help someone when you don’t understand what is going on with them at all? When I grew into a young teen I had a very difficult time understanding my emotions, never mind talking about them. Not only did I not want to hang out with my parents anymore as I once did as a child, but I didn’t talk to them at all about anything. Even sometimes small talk on my more awful days would be met with attitude and aggression without me even realzing it or meaning too. I could share many stories of how my relationship with my parents, especially my dad drastically changed into teen hood, but I will spare you the details. I was worse than the worse hormonal teenage female you could imagine. I am not kidding, I wish I was and I am not proud of it. I am happy to report I am on better terms and have a better relationship with both my parents now, but still continue to build it. As hard as I can be or have been on my parents at times, they deserve a lot of credit for surviving me. 😃

I have a saddening feeling that many parents of autistic children can feel the pain Peter Gabriel expresses in this masterpiece. Which is kinda why I wanted to share it tonight.

Anyways here is the song. Much like the song, this is a very powerful and touching performance.

Fun Fact: Peter Gabriel also wrote this song for his daughter.

I still want to see Vienna By Baylie Nixon Content Warning: This entry will discuss some controversial topics regarding the history of autism in WWII, which include the fairly recent news about Hans Asperger’s involvement with Nazi psychiatry. As the content warning has mentioned, this month’s article will cover some sobering topics, but not without…

via Paying respect to the autistic children who lost their lives in Nazi Vienna — The Art of Autism

*Reblog* Paying respect to the autistic children who lost their lives in Nazi Vienna — The Art of Autism

A Myth Regarding Those on the Autism Spectrum and My Personal Tips for Christmas

Hello all my wonderful followers and readers!

With one of the biggest and busiest holidays of the year just around the corner I thought it would be beneficial to post about a myth regarding Christmas and those on the autism spectrum or have other related diagnoses. I would also like to share some tips in hopes to help or inspire those who have a hard time enjoying this overwhelming time.

It has been brought to my attention on several occasions that people on the autism spectrum or have other related diagnoses, mental illnesses etc cannot and don’t enjoy Christmas, or any other holiday for that matter. People on the spectrum have said it is sensory overload and too overwhelming to even participate in holidays, especially Christmas and people not on the spectrum (IE: parent of a child on the spectrum) have shared similar thoughts in the past. There is no denying that Christmas is a very difficult time for most of us on the spectrum, so difficult that some don’t even celebrate it. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean we don’t enjoy Christmas or can’t enjoy it. I think there are some Autistic people that don’t enjoy the time of year because of all the sensory overload and it is just too overwhelming to handle, but I don’t believe it is true for all of us on the spectrum.  Who knows? Maybe with some tips, the right support and help maybe it could be enjoyed by everyone on the spectrum or have a difficult time this time of year.

Personally, Christmas is my favourite holiday of the year and it has been since as long as I can remember. Yes, it can be exhausting at times and I have to take care of my mental health more than others, but I still enjoy the holidays. Christmas or the holidays were not always so easy or did my mental health any good, but with time and a lot of trial and error I found ways to take care of my mental health during this sensitive time of the year. The more tips or tricks I found to help myself the easier and more enjoyable the holidays became.

I have gathered a list of tips and examples from both personal and research in hopes to help others like myself. I will share them in point like form so it is easy to read and so it is semi organized.

Tip #1: One of the most important tips I can suggest

Tell everyone or most people you have plans with for the holidays that you have autism or struggle with similar things like anxiety, if they don’t already know that is. I am not saying make a big deal out of it, but help them understand you and understand why or what makes the holidays difficult for you. Share ideas with them that you think will help make Christmas or the holidays less overwhelming and easier for you. Maybe they can accommodate you more with your help. Don’t expect people to bend over backwards or change their entire holiday just for you, but their needs to be compromises from both sides. For people like myself to be able to join in the holidays and enjoy them we need more understanding from those around us, and this can begin with us helping them.

Side note: if anyone you had plans with cannot accept or can’t be bothered to try to help you I suggest not spending the holidays with them. You have the other option to suck it up because you are better than that, but life is too short and holidays are stressful enough on their own as it is to be around that kind of noise.

Tip #2: One thing that always makes the autism world run smoothly is and most definitely important for the holidays. Make A Routine!

It can be very helpful to have a similar routine for all your holidays. The holidays are a big enough change on their own and people like myself cling to our routines. Having to go out to numerous places to visit loved ones, furniture being rearranged for decorating, all those new decorations etc is a nightmare waiting to happen and are very overwhelming for those like myself who are effected by things like change and sensory processing disorder.

Rather you make your holiday event planner or the ones you are celebrating it with you need to get to know the schedule inside and out so you can prepare and know what’s coming. If events get cancelled or change people need to know they have to tell you ASAP. You need to be preparing days and for some weeks in advance. Calendars, planners, and notes on your phone are all great ways to help you with preparing the schedule or becoming familiar with it. It can also help to talk or write about the changes and feelings you are having. It will also help you be more prepared and organized with your planning.

To help with the routine and the transitioning into Christmas you can choose/pick the same day every year to put up decorations and when to take them down.

You and only you know your limits and have control over what you can handle. You can take part in the holidays and spending time with loved ones if you do it on your schedule. For example if certain plans are not a priority to participate in you can stay home and save your energy. Find creative ways or any way to prevent an overload or keep your strength over these difficult times of year.

Tip#3 Give yourself a break and/or ignore the noise

No matter how much you prepare and follow your routine or schedule, Christmas can still bring up all sorts of anxieties be it social or sensory.

Recharge your batteries and get out of the busy scene by taking tons of breaks. Be it a quiet place to stim, play a phone game, longer bathroom breaks or chill in the basement lounge area with that one nerd at every family event who would rather play video games than celebrate holidays or whatever helps you relax. Get creative with your ideas and try different things as you deserve and need the break.

Carry your ipod or whatever device kids use now a days for music (phones right?!) earbuds or just plain ear plugs to minimize the noise and so you are not exposed to it the entire time you are at the event.

I know I always have my ipod and earphones with me at events or when have family over for the holidays. I can be seen at many holiday celebrations plugged into my ipod rocking out to my tunes with a crowd of people around me. Music is something that has always helped me relax and gives me that break from the outside world.

If you have something that comforts you or helps relax you and is portable it can help bringing it with you on holiday outings or have it close by when those relatives show up for Christmas dinner.

Create a Christmas free-zone space (ideal: your bedroom) in your home, so you can take a break from all the decorations and it doesn’t have to be Christmas y all the time. This way you have a comforting space you can go to be yourself and get away from the overload.

Tip #4:
For people on the autism spectrum or with other diagnoses shopping can be a nightmare on the store’s quietest days, never mind shopping during the holidays.

Much like your routine, it is important to plan your shopping trips. Pick which stores you need to go to and go in each store with a mission. Stopping to browse or look around can become very tiring and can set our plan/routine astray for those of us who have a difficult time with shopping, so it’s best to try to stick to your shopping plans as much as possible. The quicker you are in and out of the stores the less you have to deal with crowds, over stimulation and the sooner you can relax after your big shopping trip.

It is also good to shop at the more quieter times in the day. Most stores are relatively quiet in the very early morning, late in the evening or if you really don’t like dealing with people you can shop overnight where most stores are completely dead if they are a 24 hour operation. If you are unsure about the stores you will be shopping at times or busier times, most store websites have their hours posted as well as their busiest and more quiet times online.

Depending on what kind of person you are, you can also divide your Christmas shopping into smaller trips at different times or days instead of doing all of your shopping in one.

Decide if it is easier to tag along with someone to help you shop for those special gifts or if you are better as a lone shopper.

Random Tips:
These are some random tips and a bit of review of the above tips to help the Christmas holidays go smoother and get in the Christmas mood.

It is really important to find ways to make the transition into Christmas go as smoothly as possible. Some ways to help with transitioning is to take part in decorating the tree, the house or be involved in these kind of events.

Decorating little bits each day or at a time can also really help with the transition into the holidays and can help you adjust slowly, instead of being forced into one big change at once.

If bright lights, flashy and noisy decorations are too much of a sensory overload, you can choose more plain and traditional decorations. Personally flashy and tacky decorations are too overwhelming and I also find them to be quite fake, so I am more of a traditional and plain decorator.

I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of your mental health during this crazy time of year or any holiday for that matter. Don’t ever over do it or feel obligated to go out of your way for other people if it risks your mental health. I am not saying you have to be rude about it, you can simply explain politely how you are feeling and what is your limit. For personal example I hardly ever helped with Christmas dinners, especially at huge Christmas dinners with the whole family/relatives because the day itself was too exhausting on it’s own. I would often help with the clean up of the dinner and dishes, but only if I had energy left in me to do so. This is something I always tried to be upfront with and explain to my family/friends that I spend Christmas with. I am hoping this year I can help my hubby out with Christmas dinner and clean up as it will just be him and I this year, but we will see.

It is entirely up to you on what you want to try and how much you will eat at Christmas. Personally I always ate Turkey with mashed potatoes, turnip, stuffing, gravy and the whole nine yards every year. We also always had the Turkey spread every Thanksgiving and other events, so it was a dinner that was always familiar to me and I didn’t have to adjust to new textures or tastes. Turnip for example I didn’t eat for years because of the texture, but over time I actually became quite fond of it, but it was on my terms on when I wanted to try it and no one else’s. Yes it can be rude to not want to try something new at a friend’s or relatives house for Christmas dinner, but it is equally as rude to force someone to try and eat something they are not comfortable with. As long as you are upfront about it or you eat most of the food that is offered to you it shouldn’t be a big hassle.

It is important for parents of children on the spectrum or have pickier appetites for deeper reasons than they just don’t want to try it to keep diet in mind when choosing the Christmas menu. If your child refuses to eat what you offer, even after much arguing etc, make something aside for them that you know they will eat. You can also let them choose from the original menu you have to offer for Christmas meals and not hassle them about what they didn’t grab or grab too much of. Just be thankful they are eating. (This is the only Christmas tip I specifically have on this list for parents of children on the spectrum or children who have a difficult time over the holidays, but keep in mind the other tips I have shared can apply to parents as well as it is a pretty general post. I may make tips for families living with children on the spectrum and what not another time, but no promises. xD)

Like mentioned above if you struggle with noise sensitivity make sure to carry ear plugs or ear phones everywhere you go during the holidays as music in stores, crowds and holiday crackers etc can all be very noisy.

Different smells during the holidays, especially Christmas can be very bothersome to those like myself. You can try replacing the smell of what you find revolting with a smell you do like. For example, if you love the smell of Vanilla or find it soothing try bringing a small vanilla candle in your carry on or spray the scent of Vanilla on a piece of cloth.

If you happen to be travelling for Christmas it can be helpful to bring comforting items from home. Some examples would be coloring books, ipod, stimming toys, etc. It can not only be great for the plane or road trip, but also keep you occupied and calm in overwhelming situations such as a big Christmas dinner. Personally I do not recommend traveling for the holidays if you are on the spectrum or living with someone who has difficulties this time of year, but sometimes we cannot avoid it so I hope this tip can somewhat make the traveling less overwhelming.

Christmas is one of the hardest times of the year for those of us on the spectrum and some won’t even participate in the busier events as it can be too overwhelming. However some of us do and can still enjoy this time of year as long as we find ways to take care of our mental health.  I hope some of my personal tips and tricks can help with that. 🙂

This post has been revised from my older blog that I deleted, but I did rewrite it to make a more updated version so it can still be enjoyed by old readers and followers. Also keep in mind this post is most likely subject to change in the near future as I feel it is a bit scrambled and I could have edited it more, but didn’t want to miss out on posting it as Christmas is like two weeks away tbh. ~ My Authentic Mind

If interested and as always since I love music here is a personal Christmas youtube playlist I made last year with some of my personal favourite Christmas tunage and songs I grew up listening to during the holidays. Btw, The War Is Over by John Lennon is my all time favorite Christmas song and always will be. It puts me in the Christmas spirit and has comforting reminders of home. It depresses me (why I am against the materialism of Christmas and the ideas that got lost etc. That’s another story though haha) and happy at the same time. ;o

Up At 4 am Reminiscing My Childhood :)

I have a couple posts I will be posting shortly (One is relating to Autism, Anxiety and Christmas etc which I planned to post last week but never got around to it. The other is a new challenge I would like to do and probably the only challenge I will do on my blog and no it is not Blogmas in case you are wondering, it is a challenge I apparently never heard of until now cause I live under a rock tbh.)

In the mean time here is a song I listened to a lot as a child, like 10 years old young. I thought it was the shit. Haha. My cousin and I would listen to it on repeat and sing/rap along to it thinking we were the coolest. xD It brings back memories, but listening to it so many years later the writing is actually really simplistic. Your view of music as a child and when you are older is so different. It is still a classic in my mind regardless. xD

And there is no excuse to sell your body for cash btw. xD

‘Hold up, what would you do
Get up on my feet and let go of every excuse
What would you do
‘Cause I wouldn’t want my baby, to go through what
I went through
Come on, what would you do
Get up on my feet, stop makin’ tired excuses
What would you do
Girl I know if my mother can do it, baby you can do it’

Mental Health Update (Yes again. ;o)

Hello all my amazing followers and readers!

This morning is going to be another update on my mental health and where I am at with life.

I have another post planned for later about a myth regarding Christmas/holidays and people on the autism spectrum or people who find the holidays a difficult time of year. It is actually an older post I shared last year on my other blog before this one, but I am currently still editing it and adding to it before re sharing it here, so look forward to that. 😃

My thoughts are still very scattered, still feeling very overwhelmed and I can’t seem to understand all my emotions etc or be able to find the right words to describe how I feel, but I am going to try my best. I would like to apologize if that comes across in my recent posts, but know it is very frustrating and saddening for me. Not being able to write or express words/emotions in the way I need to gets very hard on me as it is one of my coping mechanisms when it comes to my mental health and I honestly don’t know how to get back to it again.

Pretty much I am in the same sate, if not worse than the last time I checked in with you guys about my mental health. To give you an idea of just how bad it is, today is my day off after working yet another five day week and I have already thrown up twice before 5 am this morning and my stomach is in knots from anxiety. It is like I am in this permanent exhausted/burned out state but I am continuing normal life. Except I don’t have the tools to be continuing or hold up this persona, so I walk around like a zombie. The only time I really feel anything is in my time off when I am sick to my stomach or struggling with things like anxiety, other than that I am in this constant survival state, yet failing at it miserably. It amazes me that nobody has really asked what is wrong with me or even seem to care to ask besides my husband. However, I have been showing obvious signs at work and it has been met with inappropriate responses by coworkers etc, but can I blame them when no one really knows anything about me or know how bad off I am because I don’t share how I really feel or am. There are a few reasons why I have not made my personal business, my history of mental health or what I am going through etc. One is because I don’t trust a lot of people at my work including people who should know these certain things about me, I feel stupid I didn’t let anyone know sooner and I have a hard enough time as it is putting it into words. Fears of before attempting to share these things that are very personal to me and make me vulnerable with loved ones, friends or old bosses etc to still come up short and know I didn’t explain myself well enough and resulted in a half ass responses. The only one who has truly seen how bad it can be or understands is my husband. I honestly don’t know what I would do without him. It is why it is so hard because I cannot afford to fail at my life as I would be throwing everything away that I worked so hard for and means so much to me, yet my body, mind and mental health is begging for me to lock myself in a room by myself for days and not come out until I sort myself out again or I don’t even know. I kinda regret not sharing my history of mental health, struggles or diagnoses sooner with the correct people at my work who can help me because if they knew they would understand the breaks I need to remain somewhat mentally stable and I may have even been transferred to a different department as much as I am proud of my job position and it does my confidence good when I can pull it off. Not to mention I have become very involved in my job position and I kinda don’t want to transfer now anyways, although it may do me good in the long run. I am not sure. One example would be when I call off work they think it is just because everyone plays hookie and are notorious for call offs, but in reality I am at home physically ill from anxiety and other stressful/overwhelming feelings. They didn’t know just how bad it was to force myself to even get out of bed and make that phone call, never mind go into work and try to fight through it. Lately I haven’t called off at all and been fighting off my anxiety no matter how bad it is in the morning. Some mornings I am glad I pushed through it and made myself go in because once I get there it becomes routine and my anxiety disappears for the most part, or I just go into work mode I guess. However, other days not so much and those days are so difficult on me and become a complete wash. Those are the days I really tend to struggle at work and to get along with my coworkers. Since I am fighting to go in everyday it is really not helping my overall well being because every inch of me physically and mentally is screaming for a break. I don’t know how I am going to return to my somewhat normal self, but I plan on taking a couple paid personal days off added to my two days off I get every week already in the new year in hopes to get this much needed break I need. All I can say is I am by some miracle surviving the impossible, barely. I am happy that I am not giving in and completely collapsing as it is worth it in other ways (we need the money, it is good to have a routine of work, I am a lot stronger than I thought I was etc. It’s also probably keeping me from depression as sometimes locking yourself away doesn’t do you good either) but I desperately need a vacation from life and my brain.

In other news the hubby and I got a 55″ 4K UHD Samsung tv with all the bells and whistles. I don’t know much about tvs as I am not a gamer, technology nerd etc but my husband knows them well enough to confirm we got a over the top tv for a great deal on Black Friday. As people were buying up the crappy 55″ Element tvs just because it was the cheapest (it was the cheapest because the tvs are known for being complete trash and got horrid reviews. Last year our store alone had like 50 element tvs returned after black friday because customers were not satisfied or the tvs were just broke tbh) we were laughing and paid the extra bit of cash for the Samsung. We both have a good history with Samsung electronics and it was a killer deal. It was also an early Christmas present to each other/ourselves. No regrets. We both have been enjoying gaming and netflix more with plans to maybe get basic cable, or a few specific channels such as sports, AMC, HBO etc. They also cut our hours at work due to not making sales or that is the bs excuse they are using anyways (but yyyooouuuu kkknnnooowwww work politics tbh) My hours only got cut by an hour every day so I am working 7 hours shifts instead of 8 hour shifts until further notice as my team lead didn’t want to cut me anymore as she felt horrible even having to cut them at all. It will definitely ruin my chances of fighting for full time and I thought the shorter hours would at least help my mental health, but it hasn’t even made a dent, but I am tired of complaining about it. I also cannot really say much about it on the interwebs etc so that is all I will share about that for now. xD

Alright guys that is all that is new with me and I am sorry for being a downer, but I am just in a really bad state mentally. Hoping it will pass on it’s own soon as I can’t seem to no matter how hard I try or resort to things that normally help me.

I am off to either listen to music, play Red Dead Redemption 2 or watch shows on netflix. Not sure yet, probably will enjoy all the above before the hubby gets home from work as I need to relax and take advantage of my days off.

As always here are some tunes of my week 😃

Introduced to me yesterday when I was watching one of my guilty pleasure chick flicks, Gossip Girl on netflix. This song played at the end of the episode and I immediately looked it up and have listened to it on repeat since.

I have already shared both these songs by NF recently, but I am sharing them again because they have been really helping me, relate to how I feel and they have been definitely been in my now playlist.

Always loved me some Alanis Morisette.